By Shari Eberts, hearing health advocate and author
The holiday season can be a mixed blessing for people with hearing loss. While we are excited to share time with family and friends, we may also worry that our hearing loss will prevent us from enjoying all the holiday season has to offer. Large celebrations can be exhausting, as we struggle to communicate in party spaces packed with people and noise.
But there are strategies to help you join in on the fun!
In our book, Hear & Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss, Gael Hannan and I devote an entire section to tools—we call them Hearing Hacks—that people with hearing loss can use to thrive in almost any listening situation. I’ve included my favorite holiday season hacks below.
Plan Ahead
Contact the host before the event to make any special requests—like a particular seat at the table, or a reserved area for quiet conversation. Alternatively, you may consider hosting a holiday gathering yourself so you can more easily control the seating arrangement, the lighting, the soundscape and the size of the gathering.
Before heading out, organize your technology tools and extra batteries to maximize your communication possibilities. Load and test your favorite smartphone speech-to-text app so it is ready for action when needed. Consider bringing a remote microphone that a presenter can wear if there are speeches or presentations.
Alison Freeman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who treats patients with hearing loss, calls the holidays the most difficult time of the year for many of her patients. She says staying in control can help you avoid frustration, and planning ahead for challenges can be empowering.
Advocate for your Communication Needs
It is easy to nod and pretend that you hear what others are saying, but that can be risky, particularly if someone is asking you a question. Don’t fake it. Instead, ask for what you need to be part of the conversation.
At holiday events, let others know about your hearing loss and explain how they can best communicate with you. People are not mind readers, so the more specific we can be in our requests—e.g., “Please face me and uncover your mouth”—the better!
Seek out your optimal listening location at each function, whether in a restaurant, banquet hall or in someone’s home. For a seated dinner, choose a central location at the table to maximize the number of people that are close to you. I prefer to sit with my back to a wall to minimize unwanted background noise, while others may prefer to adjust their hearing aid or processor settings to dampen sounds from behind. If possible, place those that are hardest for you to hear directly across the table from you to aid with speechreading.
At a cocktail reception, ask the host to designate one room as a quiet space with no or low-volume music. Or create your own quiet area in a corner away from the fray. Sometimes helping the host in the kitchen is more conducive to conversation than the party space itself.
When conversing in a group, use visual cues like a hand behind the ear to indicate you are having trouble hearing. The speaker can adjust their volume and you won’t need to interrupt the flow of the conversation. Or try out a tech tool like a speech-to-text app or remote microphone. Many people enjoy new technologies and may be eager to experiment with you.
Practice Self-Care
The holiday season is exciting, but it can also be stressful and tiring. Recognize your need for rest and schedule breaks to recharge for better listening. Allocate time to enjoy reading a book or taking a walk outside. Mindful breathing or meditation can also help reset and restore energy. Whatever you choose to do, self-care will pay dividends throughout the season and beyond.
Take care of yourself at holiday parties, too. Listening fatigue is real. You might want to take an occasional “time out” during the event to give your eyes and ears a rest. Sometimes a quick stroll around the block is all that is needed to clear your head and ease your mental load. Consider inviting a friend to walk with you to enjoy a one-on-one conversation amid the cacophony.
Know Your Limits
Keeping it all in perspective during the holidays can be hard if you feel like you are missing out on the fun. It’s important to have reasonable expectations and accept that you probably won’t hear everything at every party…and that is fine.
If your holiday social calendar is packed, give yourself permission to politely decline any invitations that feel overwhelming. Recognize that you may not always feel up to socializing in a loud and crowded environment and make it OK to stay home and nurture yourself.
When you do attend events, try to laugh at your hearing boo-boos and be grateful for the wonderful friends and family around you. Having a sense of humor and a positive mindset can help ease stress on both sides of any conversation.
Happy holidays to all of you!
A passionate hearing health advocate and internationally recognized author and speaker on hearing loss issues, Shari Eberts has served on the HLAA Board since October 2015. She is the founder of Living with Hearing Loss and an executive producer of We Hear You, an award-winning documentary about the hearing loss experience. By sharing her experience of adult-onset genetic hearing loss, Shari hopes to help others live more peacefully with their own hearing issues. Connect: Blog, Facebook, LinkedIn, X.
If you or someone you know has a hearing loss, visit hearingloss.org for resources. Find a local chapter or Walk4Hearing near you.
For questions, contact HLAA at inquiries@hearingloss.org.
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